Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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nine...eleven

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Hey, Max!!

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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