Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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