What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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i have 2 penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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