Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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I am a real homosexual

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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96

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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