Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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I dislike old people.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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