CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down

What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Benevolent villain.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -62

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops