So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So one time this woman was learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I met a man today. His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock! Yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops