A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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No joke.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Religion

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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women's rights

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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