A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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