Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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