q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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i'm hard

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops