Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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69.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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