A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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I have a horse.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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