Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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