what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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