Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

9/11 my birthday

42

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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