Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Charlie Sheen

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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