Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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