What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...