Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Hello.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops