how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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