A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Knock knock Fuck off!

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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