Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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