teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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