Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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