there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops