Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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