How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops