A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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96

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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