A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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