Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Robin, get in the car, please.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

Dane Cook makes a joke.

How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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