Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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