what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

Whats fat and gay joe diragi

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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