johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops