What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Andoni was here

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Gustavo Andrade

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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