jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops