Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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