Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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deez nuts

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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You having friends.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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