Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops