what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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