What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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