What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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