What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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