what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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time to spruce up!

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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