There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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