what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops