What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Hello.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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