you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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