Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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