A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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