The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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A man goes to the potty.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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