How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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