What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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