Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops