Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops