Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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