Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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