What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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