Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

thumb_up thumb_down -11

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops