How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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