How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops