When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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