What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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