Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops