Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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My cat just died.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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homosexual rights to marriage

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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