Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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