What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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