What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Cripples are lame.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Donald Trump

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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