How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

My three children are three big mistakes.

Hello.

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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