Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops