Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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What's 9+10? 19

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops