How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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My cat just died.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops