What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops