Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops