A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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kk

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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