Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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