What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

A house comes around the corner.

A hill billy went fishing

James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

Chuck Norris.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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