Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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What is older than history?

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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