A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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