What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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roses are red poo is poo

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops