how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

All of these jokes are about white people

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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