Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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95556

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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