Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Eric is gay Ha

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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