Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops