How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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