A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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