Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -25

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

95556

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Black people stink of shite!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops